Beautiful

I am not skinny, I am not tall, I am not light-skinned; I am not what society deems as beautiful.

Society as a whole is very shallow and rather naive, especially in the music industry, and the more commercial, the more shallow.

Just recently I found myself at one of those "industry events" where you are recognized if you look a certain way. But me, not being skinny, not being tall, not being light-skinned, not being what society deems as beautiful was ignored and passed over for those that "fit the part." And as much as I am supposed to say "well, their loss" or "I know I'm beautiful" it only renders itself to me as a haughty denial.

Then you have women like Star Jones magically losing a heck load of weight, or Lil Kim magically becoming five or six shades lighter...and the media jumps on them like they were wrong to have been pushed to a point of not accepting the way they look, when the very same media told them they were ugly.

When I look in the mirror, I peronally don't believe I look that bad. But as a not that skinny, not that tall, not that light, not that beautiful black woman...I've decided that I will never step into another shallow "industry event" (that it appears all entertainers must eventually take part in) without having my self professionally made up and/or dressed. As much as I want to fight the "love me" fight, I have to accept my insecurities, and work with them.